Pwn My Life: Issue #54

December 16, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

After playing for six years, I finally won a caption contest on the Neopets site. I took a screen shot of my winning post and the virtual trophy. I keep it in a secret file on my desktop and I look at it when I'm feeling down. I'm 18 years old and the thing that cheers me up is reminiscing about the time I beat out a bunch of 7-year-olds in a children's humor contest.-C

I am a female comic book artist. One day I was messing around with my brother-in-law's copy of Scribblenauts and decided to summon "cartoonist." She looks exactly like me.-SubbyP

Last year, when CoD: MW 2 came out, my long-term crush had decided he wanted to pay me a visit because we hadn't seen each other in a while. I was hesitant, but he showed up anyway. He started kissing me while I was playing the game, and finally we got to fooling around. Mid-way through I stopped and told him, "I'm sorry. I just can't do this, I keep thinking about Call of Duty. I need to beat the campaign." Then I kicked him out and finished the campaign. He's still the number two man in my life, but number one will always be videogames.-Sarah

I got a nosebleed last night while playing Black Ops. My mom had to turn off my Xbox to get me to go clean myself up.-Hawkar

When Video Games Live cancelled their show in my city, I was so pissed that I seriously thought about quitting their Facebook page and leaving an extremely nasty message on their wall. I fumed about it for an entire week, and I'm still really annoyed about the whole thing.-Emily

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim was just announced by Bethesda. I have been patiently waiting for this announcement for four and a half years. Upon seeing the trailer, I was so filled with joy that I literally started giggling, screaming and clapping my hands. My roommate burst into my room because he thought I was having a seizure.-Anonymous

I write my to-do lists in the style of RPG quests. For example, "Upon receiving this scroll, the hero must read the next three chapters of Macbeth by Thursday in order to protect the kingdom and prevent the evil Lord Meteos from raising dark dragon." This has improved my organization skills dramatically and I've benefited from it.-Anonymous

When I was nine, there was a Pokemon card club at Toys R Us where kids would gather on the weekend to battle their cards. The club was mostly made up of young kids, but there were two weird 19-year-olds that used to hang around. One day I guess one of them beat the other's best card, so he flipped out, flipped over a table, and started pounding on his friend. One punch landed square in the dude's nose and basically exploded it. There was so much blood that a janitor had to come clean it after security hauled the guys away. I learned all this from my parents/friends because I was too busy organizing my card collection in order of evolutions to notice the fight.-K. Frederickson

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