- Rookie
Oh wow! The NBA!
- Veteran
Yup. This is the big time.
- Rookie
Wow. Maybe one day I can be the new Michael Jordan.
- Veteran
Who?
- Rookie
Michael Jordan. Best basketball player of all time. Ring a bell?
- Veteran
Never heard of him. I think you're thinking of Scottie Pippen.
- Rookie
So, anything I need to know?
- Veteran
Just your typical 2 on 2.
- Rookie
I'm pretty sure that's not how pro basketball works.
- Veteran
And how are your 30-foot high backwards dunks?
- Rookie
Um…not so great.
- Veteran
That doesn't bode well. Well as long as you can make three shots in a row, you'll be on fire.
- Rookie
Is that a metaphor?
- Veteran
No. Now time to teach you the rules rookie. First, don't goal-tend.
Pause.
- Rookie
Is that the only rule?
- Veteran
Basically, yes. Also, shove people a lot. That tends to help.
- Rookie
That makes no sense.
- Veteran
Just do the best you can, kid. I'm sure you'll have them yelling "Boomshakalaka!" in no time!
- Rookie
That's not a thing people yell.
- Veteran
Are you sure? It's like, the most common catchphrase ever.
- Rookie
This whole thing is freaking crazy. This isn't basketball-this is a circus! You hear me! A circus!
- Veteran
Calm down, it's not a-
- President Clinton
Is this a bad time?
