Kratos Finds a Sidekick

Show yourself Ares so I can tear you limb from limb!

There you are bro. I've been looking everywhere for you.

Who are you? Is Ares not brave enough to fight me himself?

What? No, I'm Hercules, son of Zeus. I came to help you out.

Leave me, I don't need help from the Gods.

Haha right, and what about all those cool moves Poseidon, Hades, and our dad taught you? Eww, are you carrying around Medusa's head?!

Yeah, you act like you've never seen a guy carry around a severed head before. Wait… our dad?

Yeah, spoiler alert- Zeus is your father, which makes us brothers!

No…

Yes! I always wanted a big brother! Give me a hug!

Touch me and I'll be carrying around your head.

Where's the love bro? So do you have a plan for defeating Ares?

I'm going to gut him with the Blades of Chaos and tear off his head.

Whoa, that sounds really violent. What's with you and tearing off people's heads?

It's kind of my thing.

Nice, by the way, you look pretty ghostly. Have you ever thought about going tanning? Look at me, bronze as shit. This could be you.

I'm covered with the ashes of my dead wife and daughter.

I'm an Uncle!? This is great! But that's still kind of gross. Ever think about taking a shower?

The only way to forgive my sins is to kill Ares.

You sure? I have some Oxy-Clean back at my place. It'll get that shit right out.

Forget it, I've climbed out of the underworld to defeat Ares. I will not stop until I have his head.

Hold up… you died?

Yes, and I've overcome death itself.

So why didn't you just bring your wife and daughter back with you?

…

Oh no… you didn't realize you could do that did you?

Actually, on second thought, I could use your help, brother.

Name it, anything for family!

And when you come back with my family, sign an autograph for my daughter. She loved your Disney movie.