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The other day I was walking down the stairs with my laptop when I fell and dropped it. I started crying because I thought I broke it. After putting the battery back in, I realized that it was fine, and that I had sprained my foot and was bleeding.
When I was in grade school, my friends and I would play "Final Fantasy" at recess every day. Picture the scene: four little girls, standing in a line on the pavement in the school parking lot, taking turns stepping forward and shouting "'Fire 2!" at nothing and then returning to the line to wait for an invisible bar to fill.
When I was a sophomore in high school, my mom took away my laptop every night because she thought I was staying up late to watch porn. In reality, I was up past 2 AM every night playing RuneScape.
At the midnight release of Black Ops, the Gamestop I pre-ordered at had the local Hooters girls come in for the event. While waiting in line for about 45 minutes, one of them was flirting with me and asked if I would like to go to a party afterward with her and the other girls. I told her I couldn't because I didn't want my friends leveling up faster than me.
I was watching HBO with my girlfriend when she turned to me and said "Why are you breathing so hard?" A new preview for Game of Thrones had come on. I was so excited that I was out of breath.
When I was younger, I let my friend borrow my Nintendo 64 while I went on a family vacation. When I got home, I found out his house had burned down. They lost everything; photo albums, all their possessions, everything. Tragic as it was, the first thing I asked was when he would buy me a new 64 and Goldeneye. I realize now how much of an asshole move this was, but I had lent him at least six games and only asked for Goldeneye. That's not that bad.
I get pissed off when my iPhone tries to autocorrect the names of my League of Legends characters. Sometimes I type them over and over in a text message so it'll remember not to correct me.
And the "Wow. What's Wrong with your Family?" Award goes to:
I once walked in on my parents in a real fistfight. I feared months of counseling and my dad in jail for domestic violence after a painful divorce. Mid-fight they saw my expression and my mother came to kneel beside me. She said, "There's nothing to be worried about honey. There is a reason we are having a little tiff." Then she turned to my father and screamed "Because your BASTARD OF A FATHER BEAT MY LEVEL 87 BLASTOISE WITH A FUCKING LEVEL 70 CHARIZARD!" and she stormed out of the room.