Master Chief is Useless

November 22, 2010
  1. Guy

    Sorry for the quick thaw Master Chief; things are a little hectic right now. The disorientation should pas—

  2. Sgt. Johnson

    I'll take it from here! Alright, Chief! Before we get going, I need to know which armor ability you're going to use!

  3. Master Chief

    Armor ability?

  4. Sgt. Johnson

    I recommend using sprint! We need to get to destroy the Covenant fleet quickly before they do serious damage to our ship!

  5. Master Chief

    Well actually, Sarge, I don't have sprint.

  6. Sgt. Johnson

    That's okay, evade works just as well!

  7. Master Chief

    I don't have that either.

  8. Sgt. Johnson

    Ah! So the chief is a jetpack man!

  9. Master Chief

    I'm actually terribly afraid of heights.

  10. Sgt. Johnson

    …so you use active camo?

  11. Master Chief

    Nope.

  12. Sgt. Johnson

    Hologram?

  13. Master Chief

    Nope.

  14. Sgt. Johnson

    Drop shield??

  15. Master Chief

    I have a bubble shield I left lying around here somewhere before I got thawed if that counts.

  16. Sgt. Johnson

    That only leaves armor lock left…Chief, I didn't know you were a noob, but I respect that!

  17. Master Chief

    God dang it, don't you get it? My armor wasn't designed to have abilities.

  18. Sgt. Johnson

    Ha, that's nonsense! Hurry up and choose an armor ability because we gotta get going!

  19. Master Chief stares blankly at Johnson.

  20. Sgt. Johnson

    You're kidding me, right? You're our last and most advanced Spartan, and you don't have any f*cking armor abilities?! Who the hell was the genius behind that?!

  21. Master Chief

    Why are you always yelling?

  22. Sgt. Johnson

    I apologize, Chief. That was uncalled for. Here, just take this DMR and work your Spartan magic.

  23. Master Chief

    Um…I actually haven't been trained to use a DMR.

  24. Sgt. Johnson

    What was I thinking? Of course not! The Chief definitely uses a more advanced weapon! So what do you use?

  25. Master Chief

    Well, I did go through a rigorous assault rifle handing class for a couple months.

  26. Sgt. Johnson

    This is pathetic. Do you do anything that us normal soldiers can't do??

  27. Master Chief

    Now that you mention it, I do throw a pretty mean plasma grenade.

  28. Sgt. Johnson

    That's it?

  29. Master Chief

    Oh, and I have a pretty badass voice.

  30. Sgt. Johnson

    I can't argue with that.

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