The Dorklyst: 11 Terrible Videogames Worth More Than Your First Car

By Hudson Hongo / August 9, 2013
The Dorklyst: 11 Terrible Videogames Worth More Than Your First Car

Some rare games are lost classics, superb artistic and technical achievements that, for one reason or another, flopped in the marketplace faster than you can say "8-bit Moby-Dick." But for every Ōkami and EarthBound, there are 100 other failed releases like Cheetahmen II, gag-inducing stinkers that even their creators would prefer we just forget about. Unfortunately for them, the collector's market doesn't give a Shaq-Fu what they think, as evidenced by these 11 awful, rare, and awfully rare games that nevertheless sell for more than your high school beater.

11. Link: The Faces of Evil

Auction Price: $590Car It's Worth More Than: 1989 Geo Metro

Criticize Skyward Sword all you want, at least it never triggered any acid flashbacks. The same can't be said for Link: The Faces of Evil, one of three notoriously weird Zelda titles released on the Philips CD-i. Seemingly based on one of Shigeru Miyamoto's fever dreams, The Faces of Evil is famous for the bizarre full-motion cutscenes that make it closer to a David Lynch movie than a proper Zelda outing. But despite looking and sounding like a prescription cough syrup bender, a new copy of this game can sell for nearly $600, making it a better investment than that Geo Metro your buddy swears just needs a new transmission.

10. Peek-A-Boo Poker

Auction Price: $960Car It's Worth More Than: 1993 Honda Civic

Like most of the entries on this list, Peek-A-Boo Poker owes its rarity to being an unlicensed release never produced in mass quantities. Unlike the others, Peek-A-Boo was unlicensed because it contained sweet, sweet boobies. Well, sweet-ish boobies, provided you're into the kind of boxy, 8-bit tatas found in this low stakes game of strip poker. One of the earliest adult videogames, collectors still have a soft spot in their hearts and hard spot in their pants for this title, paying over $900 (or approximately one Civic hatchback) for a cherry copy.

9. Cheetahmen II

Auction Price: $1300Car It's Worth More Than: 1995 Nissan Sentra

Developed as the cornerstone of a vast, feline superhero-based media empire that never came to be, Cheetahmen II has the odious distinction of being the only game on this list that's actually impossible to beat without cheating. That's because Catdudes, Part Deux suffers from a fatal, game-breaking bug that makes everything after the fourth level totally inaccessible. Fortunately, levels 1 through 4 are, at best, a highly interactive form of torture, so making the rest of the game unplayable is actually a major solid. Other than possibly being the worst game ever made, Tigerbros: Parte Dos is known for selling for a whopping $1300, the same amount you paid dad for the old Nissan.

Filed Under   retro   the dorklyst
Comments ()