Pwn Up: Bloody Christmas

By Andrew Bridgman / July 22, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Bloody Christmas
I ate almost nothing but ramen for two weeks straight so I would have enough money to afford to go on a spending spree in the most recent Steam Summer Sale. I'm hungry and not feeling well, but it's all worth it for my newly expanded Steam library.-Devon

I started a new Fallout 3 game not too long ago, planning to take a more evil route. My first order of business was to blow up Megaton. At first I got a little apprehensive, thinking I could blow it up and then revert to a previous save. But when it came time to do it, I couldn't bring myself to hurting the good people of Megaton, not even if I could immediately undo it.

I thought this proved what a good person I was. Then I remembered I had no problem at all killing Butch and his mom back in the vault.-Anonymous

I was in the 3rd grade when Pokemon Red/Blue came out. After months and months of harassing my parents, I was finally successful in explaining that Pokemon Blue was probably the only thing in the world I care about when it came down to Christmas presents. My parents would always leave out a few presents unwrapped around the tree for my two sisters and I to entertain ourselves while they slept.

At about 4am, after knowing that this would be the time I would finally get the game. I snuck into to the living room and there it was: a Game Boy Color and Pokemon Blue. As my tiny 3rd grade hands attempt to open everything, I realized I needed scissors. This resulted in me slicing my thumb right open. I covered it with paper towel, picked Squirtle and got on with my adventures. My mom woke up a few hours later, horrified to find my hand and clothes spattered with blood as I stared intently at the tiny screen.-Brad

About a month ago I was the last one left at the office. A thunderstorm outside knocked out the power for a few seconds. My office is in the basement, near the ventilation room. When the ventilation started back up, it released a steam-whistle noise that sounded identical to the first three notes of the tune that summons Songbird from Bioshock Infinite. All the blood drained from my face and I got chills all over. Now I make sure I'm never in the office alone during a storm.-Fraser

In about two weeks I have to get my tonsils out. I am going to have an incredibly sore throat and won't be able to eat anything but very soft foods. My parents told me it'll be miserable, since I won't be able to do anything for two weeks and will be mostly stuck indoors during the summer. Really though, I couldn't be more excited because that means non-stop gaming for two weeks.-Ed

And this week's "Painful Reminder of Shenmue" Award goes to…

Me and a friend spent a lot of time playing the original Shenmue for Dreamcast, but for whatever reason never played Shenmue II until recently. Unfortunately, the copy we got did not have any box art or anything. However, this allowed us to create our own…

-Richard (See Below)

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