Pwn Up: A League of Their Pwn

By Andrew Bridgman / May 20, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: A League of Their Pwn
I am a factory worker who has always loved Star Wars. One day at work, I was running a machine called the depiler when it quit, dead as a door nail. A PLC card that controlled the movement had blown. Without missing a beat I turned to my coworker and said, "Uncle Owen, this droid has a bad motivator." He had no idea what I was talking about.-Ben

Since I heard about Pokemon X&Y coming out I decided to finally complete the pokedex (on White 2), to do this I needed to do a lot of breeding. After doing a fair few breeds I took my Ditto out of the daycare, when I looked at its nature and saw that it was 'Naive' I felt really bad for making it breed with so many pokemon. Eventually I swapped it for a Ditto with a 'Relaxed' nature so it might enjoy itself. -Kyle

Back when Pokemon Red & Blue first came out my friend and I, like most children in the late 90's, were addicted. Towards the end of the 2000 summer, our concerned parents took away our gameboys and we were left to our own devices. We decided to try and recreate Pokemon by catching wildlife and creating arenas, e.g. a jar filled with water was a water-type arena. One memorable fight took place in this jar-arena, between a Poliwag (tadpole) and a Zubat (a leech we found. Yeah, Zubats aren't water based at all, but we had to make do). At first the two combatants idled about in the water, but suddenly the leech jumped onto the tadpole and the struggle that took place was horrific. After 3 minutes of a terrified, writhing tadpole being drained of life fluid the Zubat floated happily, sated and victorious. We never tried that sh*t again.-Myles

So I'm a 19 year old Store Protection Specialist at a local retailer (fancy words for Security Guard.) and my boss was telling me to watch out for the "Fragrance Guy". He is a man who comes to our store when none of the Security guys are up front and takes a bunch of the perfumes that we have, breaks them out of their security boxes, and steals them. I have never seen him, but they not only described him to me in deep detail, but they also told me another store he had just left a few hours ago. I immediately replied out loud "Like Raikou." And my boss gave me a funny look. It was my job to find him and capture him before he got away, and he always shows up right when I leave, so I associated him with the runners in Pokemon.-Dylan

I'm a theater major, but most of the Shakespeare quotes I know, I know because of "Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country."-Jeff

And this week's "We Haven't Shown Off A Gaming Tattoo In A While, Right?" Award goes to…

I've always wanted a tattoo and never could decide on a design that meant something to me. Then, one drunken night, it came to me: Vivi holding THE Buster Sword. I dubbed it "Veni Vivi Vici." Vivi was my favourite character in Final Fantasy IX and I remember fond memories of my mother and I sitting side by side, attempting to complete the game before we could afford the internet or were able to find a strategy guide. Everyday I'd rush home asking if she'd made progress until finally we got to the last boss and lost every single time due to bad leveling up and team choices until we gave up trying to beat him out of despair. Don't worry Vivi, this upgrade will surely get you that win.-Laurence

Pwn Up: A League of Their Pwn
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