Pwn My Life: Issue #39

October 21, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I've never been a physically strong person, especially since I don't exercise. My main problem was arm strength, so I decided that I would do five push-ups any time I die in Team Fortress 2. That was two months ago. Now, not only do I have some upper body strength, but I've also become better at playing Team Fortress 2 when my arms are tired.-Andy

My friends and I invented our own Defense of the Ancients version of Pictionary. It ranges from heros and items, to full on scenarios like "Crixalis using burrowstrike on Lina," or "Noob trying to stack two orbs."-Jeremy

When it's cold out at rugby practice, I pretend the steam coming off me is energy, and I am about to go Super Saiyan.-Colin

When I was younger and a Pokemon fanatic, I was obsessed with Seel and Dewgong. I had one of those card binders, and I used to place moist paper towels over their cards so they'd be comfortable. I also stored their figurines in a plastic container filled with water.-Andrew

I was a couple days late on buying Starcraft 2. I'd been too lazy to read up on it, so I decided to ask the Gamestop employee his thoughts. I asked him detailed questions about units and gameplay. When I asked about the story he said it was good. I kept asking where it picked up from Brood War. He said he never played the original. I screamed "YOU F***ING NOOB!" and walked out of the store.-David

This summer, someone broke into my house and stole my Xbox, all four controllers and most of my games. He took Gears of War 2, Halo 3, Batman AA, MW2, Fifa 10, Mass Effect 2 and Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2. They left behind GTA IV and Street Fighter 4 for some reason. The thing that upset me most was that I'd have to start a new game in Mass Effect.-Anonymous

The other day, my friend and I spent 10 minutes arguing over whether numbers are better represented as fractions or decimals.-Anonymous

I have had seven serious girlfriends in my life. Six of them dumped me because I play Ocarina of Time too much. I dumped the seventh because she tried to tell me that Twilight Princess was better. Dumb bitch.-Patrick

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