Pwn Up: Do You Even Bench?

By Andrew Bridgman / April 22, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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I was at the gym with my friend recently. While we were taking a break, I decided to draw a few Pokemon on the gym sign-in sheet, just to goof around. Eventually, we went back to working out – and the gym supervisor approached me. I was nervous we were in trouble, until he asked "Do you still collect them?" I asked what he was talking about, and he replied "Pokemon cards. Do you still collect them?" Turns out his son just moved out, and left behind a box of Pokemon cards. My gym supervisor said he might bring some in to play a game if I still had mine. Now I'm more excited to go to the gym than I've ever been.-CJ

Here's the story: last summer after playing various FPS's for almost 12 straight hours, a couple of my friends dropped by. After a couple of hours, we have noticed that we were out of beer. Mind you that all of us are really lazy individuals, so we decided to order some beer from the shop just across the street (I live in Turkey and you can order alcohol by phone). The problem was I didn't know the phone number of the shop, so I went to my window to see if I could read the number. I live on the 10th floor, so I reached out with my right hand, and just right-clicked the air to zoom in. It took a couple of seconds to realize what I have done, but my friends were already laughing their asses off.-Eren

I recently had to write an essay for a test. The prompt asked whether or not a factory built next to a school should be required to dispose or prevent any air pollution that it produces since it's near a school.

While I should have written about different safety precautions in place, I instead went on a rant using SimCity questioning why on earth would some idiotic city planner decide to put industrial next to education.-Carlos

When I was younger, I was really into the Ecco the Dolphin game series. Dolphins are my favorite animals, so I knew I would love them. I had picked up the one for the PS2 after not playing them for a while and quickly realized why I had stopped: while my favorite animal is the dolphin, I have a paralyzing fear of sharks. I didn't have much of a problem getting through the second level, and when I had gotten to the boss area I had felt really proud of myself…until the boss was introduced. A huge great white shark greets you on the boss intro video, jaws wide open and everything. I screamed like a coward, quickly swam to the other side of the area, and paused. I hung my head in shame, turned the power off, and never went back to it.-Austin

While looking into Half-Life 3 news on every article I could (I just finished HL: EP2) I got the the last one before I chose to give up hope and as I was scrolling down the article, links with attractive women kept appearing in the middle of it which frustrated me. I finally said "WTF these have nothing to do with Half-Life 3." At that point I realized I'm more concerned about Half-Life 3 than girls.-Carlos (a different one)

And this week's "But What If You're Driving To Pick Up a Copy of Chrono Trigger For the SNES?" Award goes to…

Been driving the same car since I was 17. I'm now 35 and, after all this time, I finally bought a new car. The first thing I bought (aside from a Mega Man air freshener) was this license plate cover…-James

Pwn Up: - Image 1
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