The Dorklyst: The 10 Tastiest Pizzas in Videogame History

By Andrew Bridgman / April 5, 2013

4. Devil May Cry 3

The opening of Devil May Cry 3 wants you to know one thing: Dante is cool as H-E-double-hockey-sticks. How does it bring this information across without shouting "LOOK HOW COOL THIS GUY IS" directly into your face? By having him lounging around shirtless (like a badass), eating pizza (also like a badass), and beating the shit outta some demonic beings using guns and tables and pool balls (while still eating pizza). It's over-the-top in a kinda wonderful way, but the focus of the scene is almost just as heavy on the delicious pizza Dante's enjoying/defending as Dante himself.

3. The Sims

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Pizza was very important to The Sims for several reasons. First, it was a surefire way for a Sim family to have a meal that was guaranteed to not burn the house down. Second, once all the adult Sims had died in a freak fire, it was the only way for the newly-orphaned Sims children to get meals, since they couldn't cook. Also, you know it was great pizza, since it cost $40 for a pie (later knocked down to a much more reasonable $30 in The Sims 3). And given EA's penchant for releasing 30 expansion packs per game, it's only a matter of time 'til we get a pizza-centric expansion, hopefully involving a way to increase your Artistic skill by designing some crazy 'za.

2. Lego Island

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If we had to add another noun to describe our childhood (on top of "pizza" and "videogames"), it would have to be "Lego". So it stands to reason that pizza was a deeply important thing in the Lego Island PC game. The main character is literally named Pepper Roni and is a pizza delivery boy, so it's clear Lego knew who their audience was when designing the game. In the climax, you have to shoot pizzas from a helicopter to trick a criminal called "The Brickster", as – even though he's being pursued by the police – he literally cannot resist eating every pizza thrown in front of him, teaching kids the unfortunate lesson that crime doesn't pay, but at least you get all the free pizza you want.

1. The Entire Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Series

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Pizza is the life-blood of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in the games – not literally or anything, although you gotta imagine Michelangelo's arteries are blocked by a thick stuffed-crust type cheese filling by now. Pizzas litter pretty much every TMNT game as extra lives, health replenishers, and power-ups. And unless you had some kind of horrible nightmare childhood and never played these games, you probably spent a fair amount of time arguing with your friends and siblings about who really needed that pizza lying on the ground (which would probably be pretty unsanitary, but remember these guys live in the sewers, so they probably have some pretty strong immune systems). The only way these games could have emphasized the importance of pizza any more would if they actually gave you a free pizza – WHICH THEY DID (via a coupon in the instruction manual for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Arcade Game for the NES). It's probable a lot of kids were conditioned to love pizza thanks to this franchise and its portrayal of pizza as the essence of life itself.

If only it didn't have to condition them to hate electric seaweed as well.

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