8 Things Gamers Want

By Andrew Bridgman / March 15, 2013

1. No More Zombie Games

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Is there any genre more tired and worn-thin than the zombie genre? We've explored army zombies, tropical island zombies, mall zombies, urban zombies, British zombies – the list goes on. Resident Evil is creatively-sapped, Dead Island was a bore, and too many games are lazily coming back to the same old ideas. This genre should be left for dead!

2. More Zombie Games

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…except Left 4 Dead and Left 4 Dead 2 are actually really good. Hope they come out with some new campaigns sometime soon, or maybe a full-fledged sequel. Also – have you SEEN DayZ? Oh man, so good. Ever wanted a realistic zombie game – where you're in an incredibly frustrating, difficult, horrible, nihilistic environment and the only escape is the sweet release of death? Hell yeah, sign me up for some of that. Basically, gamers want to live in The Walking Dead – not the actual Walking Dead game though, because that game didn't allow gamers the freedom to lay down in a field for hours waiting to murder anything that came along…but The Walking Dead game was actually really, really good. Another one of those would be great. Oh, and a Zombies Ate My Neighbors remake! Why is no one working on that?!

3. Cutting-Edge Graphics

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The progress of gaming is directly correlated to the advancement of graphical capabilities – as graphics have gotten more realistic, videogames have been able to become more immersive, emotionally-affecting, and gained the ability to tell stunning stories that simply weren't possible in the days of 8-bit. That's why we can't wait for the next generation of consoles – where really the only major innovation is improved graphics. Companies like Microsoft and Sony get why people like videogames – and it's not their gameplay, stories, and design. We love them for the graphics. Graphics are the only thing that matters in gaming – which is why everyone should go buy a $2000 PC and play nothing but Crysis 3 for the rest of the year.

4. Simple, Old School Graphics

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Let's face it – cutting-edge graphics are worthless. They are way more expensive for a company to create (which leads to a distinct lack of risk-taking in terms of gameplay), they often approach the "uncanny valley" (defeating the point of the entire graphical endeavor), and they lead to longer load times and engine slowdown that are wholly unnecessary. I mean – don't we play videogames to ESCAPE reality, not re-create it? What gamers really want are graphically minimalist games – think Limbo or Braid – where gameplay is the key and a more artistic approach to the graphical sensibilities is tantamount. No one wants hyper-realistic particle effects if the core gameplay is boring or bad. If the game you're playing doesn't look like it could've been made on a home computer in 1997, what's the point?

5. Creative Studios to Work On Original, Inventive Titles Instead of Sequels

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We live in auspicious times – with platforms like Steam and XBLA, studios and independent developers have new avenues to work on original, inventive titles that can be released directly to the consumer without having to go through an out-of-touch, meddlesome publisher. Studios can challenge our preconceptions of all videogames and jolt the stagnancy that plagues much of the industry. Some of the most creative, unique minds are working in videogames today, and they should know that all gamers support them in their quest to not sit on their laurels, pumping out sequels to popular franchises that would be guaranteed successes, but to take challenges and force themselves out of their own comfort zones. Companies like Valve have shown, with titles like Portal and Half-Life, that they're capable of coming up with unique, unorthodox games that open up entirely new gaming experiences.

6. Half-Life 3

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Valve – why do you do this to us? Sure – you have the rare resources to create entirely new gaming experiences and take risks with eccentric games and projects, but what we want is a goddamn sequel. Gabe Newell – we will flood the internet will memes upon memes until you give in. Think we're out of memes? Think again. We don't wanna hear shit from Valve about Linux or Steam Boxes or whatever until you got Half-Life 3 ready to be delivered directly to our salivating computers. Do you know how much money you would make? So much. Screw your "artistic sensibilities" – we know you could pump this game out without having to stretch yourself too much. Come to think of it, it'd great to get a new Half-Life every year. Maybe around November. We would never complain about something like that.

7. For Videogames To Be Recognized As Art

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Are videogames art? No, videogames are more than art – they are the culmination of art. Videogames combine incredible music that has been played by the world's greatest symphonies, visuals that are comparable to the work of Monet, narratives as complex and rewarding as film, and immersive, emotional experiences that no other piece of art could possibly offer. For far too long, videogames have been misconstrued as simple "toys" by much of the mainstream media. Nothing but pointless distractions for immature children. But look at games like Journey, Limbo, Fez, and Braid – all incredible experiences, all driven by the imaginations of brilliant creators, all able to take the player on an emotional journey. If "art" is the act of creating something that had previously only existed in one's imagination, then there is no reason why the world should not recognize videogames as art.

8. The Ability To Control Boobs In Videogames

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Nevermind, this already exists.

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