The Dorklyst: The 10 Greatest Radio Hosts In Videogame History

By Alex Schmidt / November 9, 2012

5. Lazarus, host of a pirate radio station in Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Most science fiction presents a world of crazy government projects and incredible future tech that would make conspiracy theorists go "SEEEEEEEE??????also I'm still kind of a dick". So the third Deus Ex installment wisely puts a nutty talk radio crank inside the game, then lets him go righteously crazy over the inner-city riots and human augmentation that he totally saw coming. Play this game in front of your touchy, distant uncle sometime and see if he recognizes hints of the guy from his favorite AM station.

4. Mr. New Vegas, host of Radio New Vegas in Fallout: New Vegas

Wayne Newton? Are you kidding me? Not only did Obsidian and Bethesda go all meta by making this Fallout chapter's robotic radio DJ an actually-robotic character, but then they go out and get WAYNE "MR. LAS VEGAS" NEWTON to do the voice. And sure, Mr. New Vegas might be more fun if he was integral to the gameplay in FNV, but it's still hard to beat hearing the "Danke Schoen" guy say a line like "Mo' jave, mo' problems."

3. Pat Maine, host of Bright Falls KBF Radio in Alan Wake

Pat Maine is Garrison Keillor if Garrison Keillor were living in a psychological horror shoot-em-up. No, he's not the star of an amazing Lake Wobegon parody, he's actually a key NPC in Alan Wake, the best game you haven't played that's made by the Max Payne people. Pat's radio show gives the player some comic relief, his role in the game's storyline keeps things mysterious, and he's even got a name that rhymes with Max Payne SORRY IF I BLEW YOUR MIND.



2. Three Dog, host of Galaxy News Radio in Fallout 3

The Fallout games are weirdly crowded worlds, you know, considering the game's Earth recently blew up. But the Wasteland still has long stretches with nothing but Galaxy News Radio to keep you company. Three Dog's GNR show broadcasts ironically chipper 1940s pop that sets the darkly goofy tone of the whole game, along with a legitimately funny post-apocalyptic old-time radio show, and news updates that consistently feature YOU. And Three Dog's also crucial to the story, because once you meet him, he's the key to getting to that series of missions in [SPOILER REDACTED] Rivet City – dammit I let a spoiler slip through.



1. Lazlow Jones, host of Integrity 2.0 in Grand Theft Auto IV

Mr. Jones is a real person and writer for Rockstar Games, and his radio DJ persona has some impressive ups and downs across the series. He's such a popular character in the series that his station in GTA IV is only available as an unlockable item, which captures just how annoyingly hard it is to hear Howard Stern if you're not one of those satellite radio bajillionaires. Lazlow's marital strife, criminal troubles, and interactions with equally funny callers are the best in-game radio has to offer. If you've ever told your friend about this hilarious radio DJ you like, then had to explain that no it's not on the real radio it's part of a video game…well not only is that Lazlow's fault, but your friend clearly spends too much time driving a car IRL and not enough time stealing Corvettes in his mind.

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