Pwn Up: Everybody's Working for the Wii-kend

By Andrew Bridgman / October 5, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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When I was a kid, I used to believe that anything you could do in a videogame could be done in real life if you tried hard enough. One day, my mom took my Game Boy away because I was playing too much. Since I was so short at that time, she would put things in high places to keep me away from them. I ate some mushrooms from our backyard, thinking I would get taller. I didn't realize until many years later that I could've died doing that. Not growing taller was still the more upsetting thing though.-Abraham

When I was in grade school, I had trouble remembering which side was "left" and which was "right". This was around the time the SNES first came out, and a friend and I were playing Super Mario World together. He had gotten the Nintendo Power issue that showed all the secret exits in the game. The picture illustrating how to find the exit to the blue switch palace showed Mario riding a Yoshi through a block that looked like it was part of the foreground, with a caption along the lines of, "You can move through the block on the left side of the screen." And to this day, when I need to remember which side is left and which is right, I usually imagine that picture in my mind along with the note that "Yoshi is on the Left."-Jacob

I was watching an episode of the Big Bang Theory a few years ago, and at one point, Sheldon said, "That is my spot, in an every changing world, it is a single point of consistency. If my life were expressed as a function on a four dimensional Cartesian coordinate system, that spot, from the moment I first sat on it, would be 0-0-0-0." My first reaction wasn't, "wow, nerdy," but instead, "Cartesian? Since the earth is round, spherical coordinates would be more efficient."-Derek

One night a few friends and I were drinking heavily at someone's house – the party started to die down and I was left with two of my friends, who happened to be a couple. They were starting to get frisky with each other, ignoring the fact I was within a few feet of them. I was way too hammered to drive home, but I was getting really weirded out and there wasn't really anywhere else in the house to go. Things started getting blurry and the next thing I knew, I woke up with a steering wheel in my hand – a Wii wheel, with the Mario Kart screen paused (I was in dead last). My subconscious wanted to drive away, but my brain was smart enough to stop myself from using a real car. And now the couple thinks I was a jerk for playing Mario Kart while they had sex behind me.-Anonymous

Last year, I was recruited by my neighbor to be in the annual block party talent show. Being somewhat talentless, I figured I would go up and play a couple of songs on my hands by cupping them together and blowing over my thumbs. When it was my turn, I got up, put my hands together in front of the microphone, and played all 12 of the Ocarina of Time songs that you learn in the game. Everyone was clearly unimpressed by the 2nd song, but I was too focused to notice until I was done.-Evan

Renee is a friend of mine that isn't much of a gamer. She gets frustrated easily when she's stuck and often just gives up on it. However, she still wishes to enjoy the story. So, what she's taken to doing instead is watching me play games for the story, and it has become a really big part of our friendship. One of the first games I ended up beating when we started hanging out was Portal. So this year for my birthday I was at Renee's hanging out and what else do I find but a cake in her kitchen of my long lost friend…who I was forced to incinerate, and now eat…-Jeremy

Renee's Cake:

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