The Dorklyst: The 20 Worst Commercials In Videogame History

By Andrew Bridgman / August 10, 2012

15. Yoshi's Island

Half the commercial is pretty good – showing off Yoshi's Island's gameplay and graphics and boasting how much stuff there is in the game. So far, so good. But the whole thing is predicated on comparing the game to a fat guy stuffing himself with food to the point of him literally exploding, spewing his innards all over the other restaurant patrons. "Associating a game with being drenched in stomach acid sounds like a good plan to me," said the 8 year old standing on top of another 8 year old's shoulders while wearing a trenchcoat, pretending to be an adult at a Nintendo marketing meeting.

14. Dr. Mario – Witch Doctor

Okay, odds are Dr. Mario isn't a very good doctor – he seems to only be able to drop pills into bottles – but associating him with a voodoo witch doctor is a little weird. Worse still, the game is shown only twice in the entire commercial, which runs dangerously close to being a music video for the song "Witch Doctor." Maybe the majority of your commercial for a puzzle game shouldn't be a super racist depiction of a witch doctor screaming at the camera? Don Draper is rolling in his fictional grave.

13. A Link to the Past

Remember the Fly Girls from In Living Color? That was pretty similar to the Legend of Zelda, right? Yeah, remember when Link danced around to funky beats and danced around before fighting Ganon, the world's biggest muppet? You'd think just showing gameplay and explaining "you're a guy on an adventure to rescue a princess" would be enough for kids, but you'd be wrong. Also, you'd be fired. Come back when you've found a way to have Crash Bandicoot doing the Macarena.

12. Playstation

I think the most interesting thing about the original Playstation was that it was a Scottish alien girl. Wait. Maybe I'm misremembering, but wasn't it actually, like, a videogame thing? So then, what did a Scottish alien girl have to do with it? Nothing? Well, at least now I feel like watching Braveheart.

Really, it's a nice little video. It's not going to make anyone want to buy a Playstation though. It's not going to make anyone want to think about Playstation, even. It probably will make you want to Google what that girl looks like in real life. Unless this is a stealth ad for Google, someone really dropped the ball.

11. Sega Genesis

When you're advertising your system as a bargain-bin version of another system, you're in trouble. You're not advertising why your system is superior or showing off the cool, exclusive games – you're saying you're pretty much the same but cheaper. Then when you add a mosquito exploding from drinking too much blood as a marketing tool, you should probably start re-thinking your whole life.

Filed Under   sony   Sega   nintendo   the dorklyst   commercials   microsoft
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