Pwn My Life: Issue #33

September 30, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I pretend I have an adamantium covered skeleton and claws like Wolverine. When I bring out my pretend claws, they are "there" until I pretend to bring them back into my arms. While my imaginary claws are out, I am very conscious of their presence, and I'm very careful not to cut things of value to me, such as myself, my friends/family, or my stuff. I will, however, glide my hands near walls or doors pretending to cut them as I walk, then put them away when I'm done.-Collin

Before I play StarCraft 2, I use my sister's blow dryer to warm my fingers, making them faster.-Kevin

I have been dating my girlfriend for about a month. She has never played Portal, and I got tired of explaining all of the references, so I told her she should play it. She gave up within an hour claiming it was too hard. I told her that I wouldn't sleep with her again until she beat it. It's been three days, and she's almost finished the game.-Cody

Whenever I have to make myself cry, I think about David Tennant's regeneration scene in Doctor Who. The line "I don't want to go" always gets me.-Mike

One of the big reasons I want to have a son, is to see the look on his face when he learns Darth Vader is Luke's Father.-Anonymous

My boyfriend flirts with me using video game references. The latest one was, "In Scribblenauts, when you type in the word beautiful, you appear on the screen." It was the sweetest thing he'd ever said to me. Today I remembered that you can't use adjectives in Scribblenauts. You can in the upcoming sequel, so he should have said "Super Scribblenauts." It ruined the compliment for me.-Anonymous

I just watched that video of the guy that made the 1:1 scale version of the Enterprise-D in Minecraft. I got a little mad that he didn't include the nacelles.-Anonymous

And the "Whoa Dude You Went a Bit Too Far" award goes to…

I am a Sims 3 addict. When i got the game, all I wanted to do was to play it. My sims were always the best, and they had more friends than I do. One sunny Friday, I came home to find that my 12-year-old brother not only deleted, but burned alive most of my special sims. I was overcome with a demonic rage that went from toes to my fist, and ended right in my brother's face. I broke his nose and there was blood everywhere. I cried for a half-hour after and was depressed for over two weeks.-Alex

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