Videogames are at their best when they transport us to another world. Whether it be the chance to save an alien planet or to live in a parallel universe where we have something resembling athletic ability, videogames let us see what it would be like to live in other places and times. Unfortunately, sometimes those lives are really, really terrible. Here are the 7 videogames worlds you seriously don't want to live in.
7) Sim City (Sim City, The Sims)
Whoo boy. You sure picked a great place to live! We've got a baseball stadium. It's all the way across town. And a park. It's only a few feet square, but it's there! A hospital across the river. It's not powered right now, but we're working on it. A police station. Okay, maybe there aren't any roads going to it, but how are you supposed to keep everything connected when tornadoes come through every few years?
Okay, you look worried. So I'll be straight with you: our mayor is only 11 years old. And I know, I know that seems a little young for someone to be responsible for the lives of hundreds of thousands of people. And you're right: he's going to throw a few tornados at you to keep you on your toes. And sometimes he'll set taxes super high just to see what happens. But here's the good news: you're living right next to a nuclear power plant because people wanted more residential zones and Mayor Kid was in a bad mood because of Mom stuff.
Oh, hey, also, your wife is cheating on you. Mayor Kid is also her god and told her to. Sorry.
6) Tamriel (Elder Scrolls series)
Sorry, weary traveler. I know you've been chased by bears and crabs and ghouls, but there are only three beds in this inn. And they're all taken. Also this town isn't that safe because all the guards have bad knees. They used to be soldiers, but then got their knees ah, forget it. Ask them. They'll tell you. It's, like, their one thing they talk about.
But enough bad news you're looking for something a more interesting way to spend your night, am I right? Yes. I see that I am. Lucky for you, this inn keeps women with certain talents. They look exactly like men, but with a mop on their head. You like?
Don't leave so soon. It's nighttime, and there is literally every type of monster possible a few feet outside the door. Besides, you've been robbed and you're totally naked now. You didn't notice?
5) Silent Hill (Silent Hill)
Good morning! What's the weather looking like? Another foggy day? Yep. Fog. Just more fog. Still foggy, after all that fog from fog season. But, hey, maybe it will stay foggy for once instead of turning into a blood mist that gets on everything and won't wash out of your clothes.
Ah, crap. Spoke too soon. There are the air raid sirens.
Looks like some dude who murdered his family has shown up to town with amnesia again. Now all the nurses are going to start flinging themselves all over the place so this doofus can pay for his sins. Which also probably means the bridge to the coffee shop has disappeared, so this is going to be a real great morning.
Ugh. Thanks a lot, The Order.
More like The Disorder with all the problems they cause around here, am I right?