Pwn Up: Parental Guidance Suggested

I am 25 years old and used to live with my parents. I work in NYC and my commute from New Jersey was usually 2-2.5 hours each way. I got home around 9 or 10 PM every night, so I only had the energy to play about an hour of videogames before going to bed. I recently moved out of the house and into Manhattan, about 15 minutes from where I work. Not because it's more convenient and I get more sleep, but because Diablo 3 is coming out and I need all the time I can get to play. I essentially am paying $1200 a month just to play one game. And people complain about $15 a month for MMORPG service.
-Anonymous

In two months from now I will be marrying the most amazing woman ever. She loves playing Ghost Recon, Star Wars: Rogue Squadron, Zoo Tycoon, anything on SNES. Best thing ever, she turned down going to a friends wedding a month after ours so we can go to QuakeCon.
-Gary

Every time I see the extra links at the bottom of the main Dorkly page, I get excited because I think Dorkly posted something related to Zelda when I read the word "Link".
-pcull

When I was 6 years old my parents got me a computer and I kept playing games on it so much on it that they had to set up a password, so they could limit my playtime. I had to go out of the room for mom or dad to type in the password, so I listened to how many strokes it was and I heard 3 key hits, I deduced that it was 2 letters or numbers long and 1 hit for Enter. I was determined to find it out, so when I was left alone, I started trying it, I figured it would be simple to try out all the combinations. 11 – error, 12 – correct! I was caught after about a month. My mom set up a new password, I listened to keystrokes again, but there were too many this time to just guess like that and it didn't sound like a number sequence, so I deduced it was a word this time and the next day I sat down and started looking at everything in the room and typing those things into the computer. Sure enough after 10 minutes I found out the password was Globus(globe in Russian). This time they didn't find out about it for 2 years.
-Tac

When Soul Calibur V came out earlier this year, I was playing online every moment I got and I mastered Viola's moveset. Once when I was pretending to clean my room, I thought I heard my mom approaching, so I shut the TV off but kept playing, judging the action from remote vibrations. I won. Twice.
-Lexi

This is how I asked my girlfriend to prom. She said yes.
-John (see below)

I love gaming tattoos, and have had this planned for 10 years now. I've loved Monkey Island since I was 5 and swore from 10 that I would get some kind of tattoo to pay tribute to it. It's finally under-way now! The tattoo artist is a big fan of the games too and said he wants to have Murray hidden in the sleeve all over the place, so as you're looking at it, he just unexpectedly pops out. The content isn't the only nerdy thing about this, I found out that the tattoo artist has done some of the big tattoos on The Undertaker, so I'm sort of connected to The Undertaker now through tattoos…kind of…
-James (see below)

This week's "That's Very Sweet But Also Super Pessimistic, I Mean Think About Your Song Choice, Man" Award goes to…

Recently, my great-grandmother was rushed to the hospital after she broke her thigh; and her condition is rapidly getting worse from bad painkillers. My mom wanted me to bring my guitar in and play a soft, quiet song for her. So, I decided to play one of the best songs I know: Aeris' Theme from Final Fantasy VII. My whole family loved it, and my great-grandmother was moved to tears.
-Ian

John's Prom Proposal

James' Tattoo In Progress