Pwn Up: Pwnkemon Heart of Gold

By Kevin Corrigan / December 9, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

I recently went to my local Gamestop and asked to pre-order Skyward Sword. The employee asked me, "OK, and which system did you want to pre-order Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword for?" I asked him to repeat the question, because I was sure he made a mistake. He did, and added, "Xbox 360 or PS3?" I blew up at him. I'm no longer allowed in the store. I feel like I won on principle.-Anonymous

I've been going out with my girl for a year and a half now. For that year and a half I've been trying to get her to watch my favorite anime without success. Consequently, she's been trying to get me to propose for the last year. The other night she watched Akira with me. Now we're engaged.-Anonymous

My greatest claim to fame is that I've seen my strategy for the Portuguese in Age of Empires III translated into three languages.-Anonymous

I was sharing a shower with my girlfriend when she got water in her eyes. She said it was stinging. Rather than sympathize with her, I explained how that couldn't be true because the pH would be roughly 7 after the various treatments water goes through. Then I told her about H+ and OH- ions and their effects on the pH of solutions. She wasn't impressed to say the least.-Padraig

I applied for a tech support job for MW3. When asked what experience I had with customer support, I used my "job" as a Minecraft server moderator as an example. I gave a full list of my responsibilities and a brief description for the interviewer. Needless to say, I got the job.-Jaikara

I've been very lazy about my math homework lately. In order to help me get my work done, I devised a plan using Super Street Fighter 2 for SNES. I play through the game on arcade mode. Whenever I lose, I pause it and do one math problem. So far it's working. I've yet to beat Vega, but I've finished all my homework.-Anonymous

I just asked the girl working at Gamestop out to lunch. She said no. I'll probably give up on dating for a while.-Anonymous

I'm an American teaching English in China. A few days ago, I was teaching my second class of 10-year-olds. Not five minutes into the lesson, my TA started yelling at a student about some papers he was holding. They're very strict in China when it comes to lessons, and she was letting him have it. Sometimes you get bad kids in class, so I assumed he was a punk. I thought nothing of it. After 10 minutes of yelling and being pushed around, the kid was still clinching his booklet like his life depended on it. The TA finally grabbed it, ripped it in half and threw it in the trash. He started crying silently, so I started feeling bad. I walked ever and asked if he wanted to participate. He ignored me. During break he whipped out a DS and played Pokemon by himself. I started putting two and two together. I looked in the trash and, sure enough, it was the booklet that came with his game. My heart SANK. No way was this bitch TA of mine gonna ruin a fellow gamer's booklet! I still read my F1 2011 manual, wishing I had my PS3 here. I told him that I'm a fellow gamer for over 20 years, and Pokemon was one of my favorites as a child. I taped his booklet back together, returned it to him and told him to save it for after class. Not long after, the tears dried up and, with a smile, he participated during the lesson. I'm now Pokemon friends with a 10-year-old Chinese kid.-Anonymous

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