Pwn My Life: Issue #24

August 26, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I can and do chug an entire can of Diet Coke during most load screens.-Josh

I was 15 when I got a Sega Dreamcast. It was the best console I have ever had. Not because of the graphics, not because of the 3D Sonic game, and not because of the memory cards with the little screen on them, but because it was capable of going online. It was the perfect way to look at porn without my parents finding out.-Anonymous

When I was 11, I was playing Pokemon Red and realized I had to poop. I was in the Safari zone at the time. I went into the bathroom and when I started I came across a Kangaskhan. Through some sort of crapping magic I managed to catch it and was filled with joy, when all of a sudden my batteries ran out before I could save the game. That was the first time I ever cried on the toilet.-Bobby

I cried when I got hacked on WoW. I'm an adult.-Anonymous

I'm the co-founder of my high school Rubik's Cube Club.-Court

When I was younger, I was very reluctant to read. My mother tried and tried to teach me, but all I wanted to do was play video games. One day she decided that she wasn't going to read any game guide, or text within the game for me anymore. From that day forward, I forced myself to learn to read.-Chris

My ultimate fantasy is to dress up with a dude as Aeris and Sephiroth and fuck like crazy, with One-Winged Angel playing in the background. I cried when he killed her, but I totally imagine they fucked before hand. She likes crazy guys.-DDD

And the Nerd of the Week award goes to:

After watching Futurama Season 6, Episode 10 "A Prisoner of Benda," the episode where nine characters switched bodies with each other multiple times with the exception that they can't switch the same bodies twice and then revealing at the end that the whole problem could be solved with 2 additional bodies as temporary storage space, I calculated the correctness of this end. It actually works.

The Problem:Amy's Body switches with Dr. Farnsworth's Body.Amy's Body switches Bender's Body.Bender's Body switches with Dr. Farnsworth's Body.Dr. Farnsworth's Body switches with Lela's Body.Lela's Body switches with Hermes's Body.Meanwhile Amy's Body switches with the Bucketrobot's Body.The Bucketrobot's Body switches with the Body from that rich Robot.And separately Fry's Body switches with Dr. Zoidberg's Body.

How to solve it:Globetrotter 1's Body switches with Bender's Body which inherits Dr. Farnsworth's Mind.Globetrotter 1's Body switches with Dr. Farnsworth's Body. His Mind and Body are back together. Lela's Mind is now in Globetrotter 1's Body.Globetrotter 1's Body switches with Lela's Body. Lela Complete. Hermie's Mind is now in Globetrotter 1's Body.Globetrotter 1's Body switches with Hermie's Body. Hermie Complete. Amy's Mind is now in Globetrotter 1's Body.Globetrotter 1's Body switches with Amy's Body. Hermie Complete. The Bucketrobot's Mind is now in Globetrotter 1's Body.Globetrotter 1's Body switches with the Bucketrobot's Body. Bucketrobot Complete. The rich Robot's Mind is now in Globetrotter 1's Body.Globetrotter 1's Body switches with the rich Robot's Body. Rich Robot Complete. Bender's Mind is now in Globetrotter 1's Body.Globetrotter 1's Body switches with Dr. Zoidberg's Body. Fry's Mind is now in Globetrotter 1's Body.Dr. Zoidberg's Body switches with Bender's Body. Bender Complete. Globetrotter 1's Mind is now in Dr. Zoidberg's Body.Fry's Body switches with Globetrotter 2's Body. Dr. Zoidberg's Mind is now in Globetrotter 2's Mind and his in Fry's Body.Globetrotter 2's Body switches with Dr. Zoidberg's Body. Dr. Zoidberg Complete. Globetrotter 1's Mind is now in Globetrotter 2's Body.Globetrotter 1's Body switches with Fry's Body. Fry Complete. Globetrotter 2's Mind is now in Globetrotter 1's Body.Globetrotter 1's Body switches with Globetrotter 2's Body. Both Complete.-Patrick

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