Pwn Up: The Pwnward Sword

By Kevin Corrigan / November 11, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

At one time, I was an avid Eve Online player. Since in real life I manage an HR department, I inevitably ended up being the HR manager for our in-game corporation (EVE Online's version of guilds). At one point I wrote a health insurance program for our members that would cover the cost of in-game ship replacement due to loss in PVP. It was easy, but I had trouble getting people to pay their premiums.-Anonymous

Everyone who knows me knows that I am a nerd. I am not ashamed to be a nerd. I love being a nerd, but I have one of those moments sometimes.I go to Gamestop all the time. The other day when I went to Gamestop, there was a new cashier. She was really pretty. I wanted to reserve Dragon Ball Z: Ultimate Tenkaichi, but I didn't want her to think that I'm a nerd. Instead, I walked in, asked if there was a bathroom and walked out.-JT (Who doesn't realize that the people working at Gamestop are also nerds)

I ate at Subway something like 20 times this past October because of the Uncharted 3 beta. I'm not complaining. Subway and Uncharted are like my two favorite things. When I saw the promotion, I started planning my schedule around when I would be in the mood for footlongs.-Anonymous

I'd been nervous to break up with my boyfriend of three years, and I was procrastinating. One afternoon we were watching the episode of Arrested Development with actor Alan Tudyk of Firefly fame. At the time, I had just finished Firefly and hadn't yet had a chance to watch Serenity. Upon seeing Tudyk, my idiotic boyfriend made what he considered to be a frivolous comment, but to me was a MASSIVE Serenity spoiler. My heart nearly stopped. After ten seconds I burst into tears of absolute fury. I was so angry that I drove home right then, didn't speak to him for a full day, and broke up with him a week later. Although my heart is still shattered from having Serenity ruined, his spoiler motivated me to get out of that relationship once and for all.-Nalyak

There once was a time where I was very addicted to a particular MUD. MUDs are online text only MMORPGs that you connected to via telnet or other clients. I was playing it so much, that one morning I woke up and realized my entire dream had been in MUD format. There were no images, just scrolling text that described where I was and what I was doing. That led me to decide I was playing a bit too much.-Lunesar

I pay my pot dealer with Runescape gold.-Jake B.

This week's "Oh. OK." Award Goes toI'm not into hentai or whatever, but I am totally down to pound every female character in the Soul Calibur series. This is probably what I hate most about next-gen graphics. I feel like a creepy deviant even though the industry is trying it's hardest to make the most photo-realistic titties, like there are even boob jiggle physics built into the games. Feels a bit like to catch a predator. As a "boob guy," I never stood a chance.-Anonymous

My wife decided that our child had to be Link for Halloween. He's 18 months old. Unsatisfied with anything she could find online, she made him a costume from scratch. The costume is made from cloth (with leather soles on the boots), and the shield and Master Sword are made from layered blue camp foam sprayed with PlastiDip and then painted.-Dave


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