Pwn Up: SummerSlam

By Kevin Corrigan / September 2, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Gamestop is speed dial #3 on my phone, right between my mom and Pizza Hut.-Elliot C.

I'm a journeyman electrician. When it came to make business cards, the only logical step was to cover them with various electrical Pokemon. They are a huge hit. At the bottom they even include the tag "It's super effective," so you know I am a pro.-Anonymous

A few days ago I woke up and stumbled into my living room where I was met by my roommate. He politely asked me that the next time I use his laptop that I not delete his browsing history because doing so had cleared all of his stored passwords and such. After casually agreeing and apologizing, I looked towards his girlfriend to see that she was giving me a look of stern disappointment. I explained that I had deleted the history in fear of being ridiculed for spending all night browsing color palettes and taunts for my favorite Street Fighter IV characters so I could choose the ones that were the coolest. Neither believed me, they assumed I had been looking at porn and I could not convince them otherwise. I still haven't decided if the truth is more embarrassing or if I should consider this a victory.-David S.

I've always been a little over weight. I could never lose it. However, I recently purchased Minecraft and, through not getting up to eat as often, have shed some weight.-JH

My boss at the bakery I work at frequently asks me to borrow my Star Wars toys as reference for cakes.-Charles H.

A couple years ago, some friends and I bought a booster box of Magic: The Gathering cards for another friend's birthday. When it arrived, we carefully opened the plastic wrap and 1/3 of the booster packs, then replaced the cards inside with playing cards, Pokemon cards, old Star Wars cards, a piece of cardboard, cards from his least favorite set, and 15 copies of a card he already owned, among other things, then resealed it all inside a mismatched box before giving it to him. He had no idea we were behind it until we told him. He now fondly refers to that event as "The time I thought a stranger painstakingly f***ed me, when in fact it was my friends who painstakingly f***ed me."-Anonymous

My friend once let me borrow Rayman 2 during primary school. I wanted to play it so badly that I did the only thing I could think of to get sent home early. I wet myself.-Mos

Last month I attended the WWE "Money In The Bank" pay-per-view. They were selling a limited edition CM Punk shirt, but it sold out before I could get one. They were going for $500 on Ebay afterwards. I couldn't find it for a cheaper price anywhere, so I got a tattoo of the front of the shirt on my arm instead. I've been spamming CM Punk's twitter account with pictures of it for three weeks, but he has not acknowledged me.-Scrump


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