Issue #14

July 26, 2011

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I was playing Amnesia: The Dark Descent, for a second playthrough as I heard that there were multiple endings. Right at the start, as you walk down the initial castle hallways, your character's view starts to become blurred and the camera goes all over the place in a slow, scary fashion. When it began to pan downwards and blur hardcore, my computer chair's suspension broke and my seat softly floated down in sync with it. It scared me so much that I immediately went straight to bed. It was 6pm. I still don't know if there is multiple endings.-Anonymous

When I was young, both of my parents were avid fans of SMB3 and LoZ. One time, I just happened to see Zelda II's 'game over' screen that displays Ganon's shadow and plays a noise I still can't identify. For years afterward, I was so traumatized by the image that I was too scared to go near a window at night.-Mitch

I was in the infamous "Barrel of Doom" in Sonic 3's Carnival Night Zone Act 2. There I was, bouncing away for forty five minutes straight without making any progress at all, and my 10-year-old patience was just about at its limits. When Tails screwed up my bounce timing for the umpteenth time, I screamed like a man (boy?) possessed and threw the controller into the TV, where it was lodged and wouldn't budge even when my dad got involved with his toolbox. I was banned from the Sega or any other game machine until I bought a Playstation with my own money years later.-Anonymous

I was at a convention this May. Whilst in line for one of the main events, I heard a group of people behind me discussing Portal 2. Keep in mind, that Portal 2 had only got released two weeks before and I hadn't progressed that far in the game at the time (I have this dumb habit of buying a new game and then waiting about a week before I end up playing it, just like I did with Duke Nukem Forever). Anyway, this group were talking about how they had completed the Single Player campaign and were talking about their favourite parts to the storyline, to which one of them mentioned a significant plot twist – one that I had not reached yet (the scene right before the chapter "The Fall"). I had to turn around to face them, and complained very loudly to them on how they spoiled a vital moment in the game that I had not got to. Needless to say, when I ended up getting to "that scene" in the game, it still didn't seem as magnificent as it should've been for me.-Neo "2.3" Hylan-May

I am a HUGE fan of the old LucasArts point-and-click games. One of those games is Full Throttle. My girlfriend knows about my love of the game because she got me a copy to replace the one I lost for our anniversary. I responded by grabbing her and giving the most passionate kiss I could (I didn't let go of the game the entire time while I was doing this). Recently, I was looking through your 9 coolest motorbikes in videogame history. I jumped off my chair, pumped both fists up in the air, and screamed "YES!" when you listed Ben's bike from Full Throttle. I almost feel bad now due to the fact that my mom has been shouting at me for the last 3 minutes because I woke her up from a deep sleep. -Ameer Tohamy

A few months ago, I was playing a Slayer match in Reach, and doing way better than normal. I had almost a 2:1 k/d spread (I'm normally lucky to break even), had a number of multi-kills and sprees, and was generally owning. This was also the first game I ever saw tie at 48 apiece in a crazy slaughterfest that killed almost everyone. Right then, my roommate starts knocking on the door – he forgets his keys all the damn time and as to be let in at least once a day. I try to ignore him, but he gets more and more frantic, finally shouting "I can hear you, open up!" as our two teams see each other and charge. I leap over the couch, open the door and look at the screen: we lost, 50-49, with one of their guys tea-bagging my body. I found a new roommate for next semester.-CT

While playing MLB 2K11, I decided to play a full season in "my player mode" in one day. I prepare my alarm clock to wake me up at 4 A.M. I put food and drinks right next to the couch and shut all the lights off (the light glares on the TV screen). Nine hours and three quarters of the way through the season, my cell phone rings but I decide not to pick it up. My cell phone rings four more times before the house phone rings, so I pause the game and grab the house phone. I answer to my mom who's screaming at me since my sister is at her camp and I haven't picked her up yet. Realizing I have 10 minutes to pick her up before she's late and every ten minutes she's late is a $100 late fee (they're wicked strict about this kind of thing). I jump up at top speed sadly lying on the couch for nine straight hours does a number on your body. Just as I stand up I black out from the rush of blood. When I wake up I look over to my cell phone and realize I'm two and half hours late or 150 minutes late which is equal to $1,500. I pick her up at the camp and I get home to an angry mother who's holding my Xbox and says very slowly "This is going into the $1,500 late fee." I then proceeded to cry myself to sleep.-Andres C.

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