Ash's Ark

Hey you, kid!

Oh man. What are you, some kind of beard-type Pokemon?

No. I’m God. And I need you to build an Ark, and put within it two of every Pokemon.

What? Why?

Because I must flood the Earth for some reason. Maybe to kill all sinners? Yeah. That’s it.

But…you’re God. Why don’t you just specifically kill all of the bad people and not drown everyone? Wouldn’t that make more sense?

No. That would take forever to figure out. This is way simpler.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to capture ONE of every Pokemon, let alone two? I mean, I don’t think there even are two Mewtwo’s.

C’mon, kid. How hard could it be?

Okay – it took forever, and I technically had to cut Articuno in half, but I think I caught ‘em all.

Oh. Just 151 pairs?

Yes…that’s all there are.

So….I’m guessing you didn’t get my memo…

Uh, no. What is it?

Well….while you were gone, I sorta created another 100 species of Pokemon.

Are you kidding me?! You created more Pokemon just to drown them?! Why wouldn’t you wait until after the flood?!

I just…I had all these ideas. Like, there’s this electric sheep. How was I supposed to NOT create that?!

So what you’re saying is that I have to go capture another 100 pairs of Pokemon.

More or less. I noticed you didn’t get any Missingno.

That’s a glitch.

DO AS I SAY!

HERE. HERE THEY ALL ARE. ARE YOU HAPPY?

Errrrr….I did it again.

I HATE YOU AND I HATE POKEMON.

So? Did it work?

The problem with putting a bunch of superpowered animals bred for fighting on a wooden ship is that they burn it down pretty much instantly. Like, Charizard’s tail is just naturally on fire. Why the hell would you create an animal like that?

Agggh…my bad. Ya know what? Nevermind. This whole thing was a bad idea.

Well, at least I caught every kind of –

OH! Know what would be cool? A fire-breathing camel. I’m gonna go make one of those and 100 other new species.

Are Digimon still things? I’m gonna collect those instead.