Issue #11

July 5, 2011

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When I was about 10, I wandered in on my brother playing Clock Tower for the Playstation. Despite the fact that I was terrified, I stayed and watch him play all the way up until the mansion, when he inevitably got bored and decided to do something else. Later that night, I was getting ready to go to bed, having finally forgotten about the game and the Scissorman, who would scare the crap out of me every time he was on screen. As soon as I switched on the light, my brother jumped up from under the covers brandishing a pair of scissors. I ran from the room screaming and crying. Everybody thought it was hysterical, my parents included. —Sam

When I first played through Kingdom Hearts, I had the tendency to go back to all the worlds and get all the trinities. This was because you need Goofy and Donald with you to do them, and I usually got rid of one of them so I could have the characters from the different planets on my team. When I played the Nightmare Before Christmas level, I played with Goofy and Jack on my team. There was a red trinity at the bottom of Oogie Boogie's castle that I planned on going back to do. After I defeated Oogie, he turns into his castle and you have to destroy it. I didn't know this before hand. The trinity is gone forever with Oogie's castle. This was the only thing preventing me from getting 100% completion.-Anonymous

When I was younger, my my older brothers got into fights all the time and were extreme video game nerds. My brother Timmy enjoyed playing Sim City above all other games and had finally created the perfectly functioning city. Then he decided to piss off one of my other brothers: Phillip. Phillip logged on to my brother's Sim City and created multiple natural disasters completely destroying the city. And then he saved it. Timmy still talks about Phillip doing this and how angry he still is about.-Anonymous

I was 13 when I tried pulling my first all-nighter. It was some zombie game that had my tensions running on high. Around 3 am, I heard the sound of feet being dragged outside. The door opened, and I heard moaning and some thumps. Quivering with fear, I crept downstairs with a stick I found. When I flicked on the lights I saw a slumped, ashen figure stumbling towards me. Knowing it was a zombie, I screamed and fainted, when I ended up damaging my skull and I had to go to the hospital. It turned out that it was my sister, coming home drunk from a costume party where she happened to dress, coincidentally, as a zombie. I don't I ever played that game again, and i know I didn't try to pull another all-nighter for weeks. -Anonymous

Back in the elementary school, I had really bad acne and mediocre at best social skills. I had a 'girlfriend' in my class, but she was unaware of that relationship. I always wanted to express my true feelings to her so I thought of a plan to finally go to a doctor to clear up my acne, which would boost my self-confidence, and as soon as that is taken care of, take her out to the cinema to see….Mortal Kombat.-Anonymous

During the Dorkly "Greatest SNES Game" voting, I had to decide between "Super Mario RPG" and "Terranigma." I could not decide what to click on, so decided I wouldn't shut down my PC until I made up my mind. It took me about 2 days of intense recapitulation, until I decided for Terranigma. After the click I immediately regretted my choice because I suddenly had an intense feeling for Super Mario RPG come into my mind (I cried for joy when Bowser joins the team). Now I just get sick looking at the survey. I feel bad that I made the wrong choice and ruined the survey.-Anonymous

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