- Dave
Oh…hey neighbor. I see you’re painting outside at 3 am again. And it’s the same picture you’ve painted three times before.
- Frank
ROSEBUD. ROSEBUD. ROSEBUD.
- Dave
Ah…ha. Just wondering if you’ve seen my pool ladders or my wife – WHOA. You reek, man.
- Frank
(sobbing uncontrollably) I NEED TO SHOWER AND/OR WASH MY HANDS!
- Dave
Yes, you definitely do. You should probably go to bed too. You look exhausted.
- Frank
(yawns) I AM VERY SLEEPY!
Frank collapses and falls asleep.
- Dave
Oh come on, this again? Go to your bed, Frank. It’s literally four feet away in the house.
Carpool pulls up.
- Carpool
FRANK WE ARE THE CARPOOL AND WE ARE HERE TO TAKE YOU TO YOUR PLACE OF WORK.
- Dave
Frank! GET UP! Your carpool is here!
- Frank
(wakes up instantly) TIME TO GO TO WORK.
- Dave
No, man, you can’t go to work like this. You’re covered in your own piss and you’re collapsing from exhaustion.
- Frank
OKAY I WILL GO TAKE A SHOWER AND DRINK SOME CAPPUCCINO AND THEN GO TO WORK.
- Dave
What?! No, just take the day off. It’s not like your carpool is gonna wait for you to get ready.
59 Minutes Later…
- Carpool
FRANK, ARE YOU COMING? WE SAW YOU WAKE UP ON YOUR LAWN AND GO INSIDE AND EAT A BAG OF RUFFLES FROM THE REFRIGERATOR AND WE HAVE BEEN HONKING THE HORN TO GET YOUR ATTENTION.
- Frank
COMING, CARPOOL!
- Dave
What the hell do you even do for a living, Frank?
- Frank
MY JOB IS PICKPOCKET. I HOPE I GET A PROMOTION TODAY – I HAVE MET MY FRIENDS QUOTA AND HAVE PLAYED A LOT OF CHESS BY MYSELF.
- Dave
Okay, none of that made any sense.
- Frank
BACKRUB?
- Dave
No.
- Frank
TENDER KISS?
- Dave
No. Go to work, Frank.
- Frank
WE ARE NO LONGER FRIENDS. THERE GOES THAT PROMOTION. ROSEBUD.
