The Dorklyst: The 7 Best and 7 Worst Sidekicks in Videogame History

#7:

BEST: Epona (The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time)

Suddenly every male nerd understood why girls loved ponies so much. Unlike many terrible sidekicks, Epona would stay exactly where you left her, come running when you played her song, and was awesome enough that she almost made you forget that Navi existed (almost). But mostly, Epona made travel a breeze, and all the horse asked for in return was an occasional snack from your infinitely-regenerating bag of carrots. Meanwhile, girls still had no desire to understand male nerds whatsoever. “Guys that play videogames about ponies and fairies and princesses? Pussies.”

WORST: Navi (The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time)

“Hey! Listen! I’m telling you about an annoying sidekick! Watch out! I’m going to fly around and yell until you pay attention to this entry! Hey! I’m going to sneak into your house and yell until you wake up! HEY! ARE YOU LISTENING? THERE’S SOMETHING INTERESTING OVER THERE! ARE YOU EVEN PAYING ATTENTION TO ME?” – How Navi would have written this article.