The Dorklyst: The 7 Best and 7 Worst Sidekicks in Videogame History

Behind every great hero is a sidekick – Batman had Robin, Simon had Garfunkel, Steven Seagal had his ponytail. But for every loyal sidekick with impressive skillsets, there’s a worthless blob of pixels that’s only purpose is dying and screaming. Here’s our tribute to the sidekicks who picked up the slack and made life easier, and the ones who made life a 64-bit hell.

#1:

BEST: Tails (Sonic Series)

When Tails hit the scene, two-player Sonic no longer meant “you get a turn after I die.” Suddenly, you had a way to keep your little brother from throwing a fit and you never had to give up the controller – just let him be the two-tailed fox. Sure, Tails wasn’t as fast as Sonic, but he was just an added bonus – killing enemies, coming back to life when he died, and collecting leftover rings (which were always plentiful. Seriously, Green Hill Zone was like a Gollum wet dream come true). And when Sonic 3 rolled around and Tails could airlift Sonic over pits, your little brother finally had an actual purpose other than getting you Dunkaroos between stages.

WORST: Slippy Toad (Star Fox 64)

The Star Fox team was not exactly ideal. There was a past-his-prime rabbit who was all too accepting of his own demise, a dickish falcon who actually insulted you for not letting him die in a fiery explosion, and, worst of all, a pre-pubescent toad who was always on the verge of death and intent on screaming at you to save him. (Also, none of them had opposable thumbs.) Like most terrible sidekicks, Slippy was simply a magnet for enemy attacks, rarely fired back, and had the most annoying voice in the history of annoying videogame voices (sorry, Fran Drescher 64). Sure, you couldn’t get the good ending and save the galaxy if you let Slippy die, but at least you could do your barrel rolls in peace.