State of the Sim City

Mr. Mayor — I think we should talk about some of the complaints the citizens have had lately.

Like what? Actually, wait one second – I'm gonna summon a monster attack.

See – that's exactly what I'm talking about. You need to stop pressing the "Monster" and "Earthquake" buttons. Actually, we should probably have them uninstalled altogether.

Listen: I was elected to this office –

You created the town and have been running it for over 100 years with no elections.

Same difference.

Not really. There've also been some questions about your immortality, but we'll get to that later. First off, I think we should consider moving the nuclear power plant away from all the residential zones. Especially because you can't seem to stay away from the "Meltdown" button.

Ugh, but if we move it away, it could cost over $90 in extra power lines! How am I supposed to explain that to the community?

If we're talking about the budget, we should probably think of giving the fire department more than $0 funding a year. The fire at the airport has been raging for almost six years.

Oh sure, then the police department will start asking for more money too!

I doubt it, sir. Against the constant begging of the citizens, you still haven't built a single police station or hired any officers. If you'll look at the chart, the areas in red are where crime is the worst…

The whole thing's red. Except that one little part…

That's the airport fire. Everything's pretty burned up, there's nothing really left to steal.

Well there's a solution. Let's just light the town on fire – no more crime!

I really don't think –

HEY! Which one of us is Mayor/Founder of Poopville?

You are, sir.

Now get the button-guy in here. I'm gonna need at least ten "Fire" buttons if we're gonna clean up this city.