Bowser Needs a Plumber

Um…hey, Mario?

So a-what is it this time? Kidnap the princess again? Luigi? If it's Luigi, you can a-keep him.

Uh no. Not this time. I need…a plumber.

…oh. Jeez. That's a first. What's the problem?

It's the pipes. They're not connected to anything. There's no running water in the entire kingdom, evil fire-spewing plants are growing out of the pipes, and the sewage system is…not pretty.

Wow. That is a major a-plumbing problem. How have we never a-noticed this?

Ever wonder where the toilet pipes go?

Uh…

Sh*t World 1-2. We have literally filled up an entire world with sh*t because our plumbing system is so f*cked.

Oh god. I thought that a-was mud! Smelly, a-smelly mud…I WORE MY FROG SUIT THERE, YOU DICKHOLE.

Can you take the job?

So…I really haven't a-done any actual plumbing jobs in a couple decades. Are you sure you don't want to just a-kidnap the princess?

How would raping the princess help this?!

I…wait. That's what you do when you a-kidnap her?

Well…yeah. Why else would I kidnap the princess?

Ransom money?

Gold coins are floating almost everywhere you can look. Who the hell needs money?

This a-has been a very disturbing conversation.

So will you fix the pipes?!

Honestly, I have no idea a-how plumbing works anymore. Is it something with fireballs? Raccoon tails?

Wow, you've really lost your touch, huh?

Let's just a-tell Luigi that he'll get to do Luigi's Mansion 2 if he fixes the plumbing.

That's just cruel, man.