Pwn My Life: Issue #77

By Kevin Corrigan / May 27, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I'm not a gamer, but read Dorkly via collegehumor. I drive open-wheel formula race cars, and I'm a driving instructor for new drivers. While quite adept at driving an actual race car, I was never able to make heads or tails of the sims and games. Some people do it well, but I'm not one of them.

New drivers are required by regulation to attend a driving school before a competition license can be issued. I had one guy as a student who was a huge gamer. He loved racing sims so much that he purchased an actual race car, fire gear, helmet, etc. in order to do it for real. He was very cautious through his school experience, a bit less aggressive than I would have preferred, but I figured he would work through it.

After finishing school, you are on a provisional license for two races. After that, you get your competition license. The gamer guy's first race weekend was at a race I was going to be at so I told him to look me up and I'd give him a few pointers. We went out for the first practice session which included different formula cars (formula atlantic, maybe 160-170 mph capable while we were 130-ish capable). About half way through the session I lapped him. Two laps later, I was going down a straightaway and got split (one car going by on each side) by a pair of formula atlantics. No big deal. Done it a million times.

I came in from the session and pulled the race car in. His car was already on the trailer. I got out of my car and told him to get the car off the trailer. Whatever broke, we could fix it. He told me the car was fine. I asked why his car is on the trailer. It turned out he was split by the same pair of atlantics. At the speed he was moving, they had a speed differential of probably 60 mph going by him on either side, about 2 feet from his head. He said "This is NOTHING like racing sims on the computer! I'm going home!" I replied, "Yeah, it's your ass out there. No reset on a race car."

He left. Haven't seen him since. It's been 6 years.-B

When I was old enough, I bought my first pack of cigarettes. I didn't smoke them. I used them for my cosplay of Spike from Cowboy Bebop.-Anonymous

While waiting for my girlfriend to get out of class, I was sitting in the hallway playing Runescape. When class let out I quickly switched to Pokemon on an emulator. I did not want anyone to see me playing Runescape because Runescape is more nerdy than Pokemon.-Jonathan

I messed around with playing guitar and bass in high school, but never seriously. I was always hopeless at the drums. When Rock Band came out, my friends and I started a band immediately. I got stuck on drums because noone else wanted them. After a few weeks, I was a pro. A couple months later, my friend's band had a gig and their drummer came down with the flu. They asked me if I would be able to fill in and just play a basic beat or something. I said I'd try and to my surprise, it was a cakewalk. I started doing crazy fills and even pulled off a short solo. Long story short, I'm a pretty regular drummer now. When people ask me how I learned, I always give the props to Rock Band.-J

In primary school, I used to hide in a bush and play Pokemon Yellow on my Gameboy Advance SP.-Anonymous

Last Halloween at school, I saw two girls arguing over the fact that they were wearing the same Supergirl costume. I walked up to them and explained that one was wearing the pre-Crisis on Infinite Earths Supergirl costume, and the other was wearing the post-Infinite Crisis costume. I expected them to thank me for settling the argument. They called me a nerd, flipped me off and walked away. Totally worth it.-Dave

My car's hood, see below.-Hector

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