The Mushroom King

June 2, 2010
  1. Princess Peach runs into her father, The King's, arms.

  2. King

    Oh Peach, how I worried I would never see you again! My darling daughter is returned!

  3. Princess

    Father, I am home safe, rescued from the evil dragon Bowser by a brave hero. I wish to marry him, father.

  4. King

    Tell me of this man you wish to marry, daughter. Surely, he is a brave Knight of the Mushroom?

  5. Princess

    No father, he is not a Knight of the Mushroom…

  6. King

    Ah, so he is a warrior from the Order of the Fire Flower! Splendid! They served me well in…

  7. Princess

    No, father, he is not in the Order of the Fire Flower, either. He is not a warrior. He is a plumber, father.

  8. King

    A plumber, you say…well, in this land of pipes and drains, plumbers are needed and respected!

  9. Princess

    He is not from the Mushroom Kingdom, father. He is from a place called Brooklyn.

  10. King

    Brooklyn…Brooklyn…I cannot say I have heard of it. But surely plumbers in the Kingdom of Brooklyn are important, no?

  11. Princess

    I suppose. Important like garbagemen, say. Oh, and Brooklyn is not a kingdom. It's a working-class section of a larger city called New York.

  12. King

    OK…OK, well, tell me, daughter, how this plumber you wish to marry was able to deceive the evil Bowser and save you? He must have used all manner of trickery and out-smarted the beast! My daughter, betrothed to a genius!

  13. Princess

    He ran under Bowser and pulled an Axe lever.

  14. King

    Seriously?

  15. Princess

    Yup.

  16. King

    Well, how much do you know of this man? What of his family?

  17. Princess

    I have met his brother.

  18. King

    Oh?

  19. Princess

    Yes. His brother is taller, thinner and can jump higher. But my heart belongs to plumber who rescued me from the evil Bowser, father.

  20. King

    Right…It's just that you're a princess so, you know, I always imagined you marrying a prince or…you know what, nevermind. Any man brave enough to rescue my daughter from Bowser's evil grasp is certainly good enough to take her hand in marriage! This man…

  21. Princess

    …His name is Mario, father.

  22. King

    …Mario?

  23. Princess

    Yes, Mario.

  24. King

    He is Italian then?

  25. Princess

    Yes, father.

  26. The King slaps Princess Peach across the face

  27. King

    YOU WILL NEVER BRING A F*CKING GREASY ITALIAN INTO THIS PALACE! NEVER!!!

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