Pwn My Life: Issue #76

By Kevin Corrigan / May 20, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

After Mass Effect 2 came out, I bought an Xbox 360 and started playing the first Mass Effect so I could play the sequel after. I tend to snack while playing videogames. Around the same time, my friends introduced me to Flamin' Hot Cheetos. Throughout my two playthroughs of Mass Effect and three playthroughs of Mass Effect 2, there was not a moment I was without Cheetos, bot regular and lime flaming hot. Now anytime I see anything related to Mass Effect I get a tingle in the back of my throat and my mouth starts watering. And anytime I see Cheetos I think of sleeping with Miranda or Ashley.-Andrew

The other day, my buddy and I were playing Halo: Reach. He said something about wanting a tattoo and asked for ideas. I suggested our Halo clan emblem. After a pause, he said, "Dude, I might actually do that." We had a 30-minute conversation that ended in us both getting the tattoo.-Anonymous

After eight years of Runescape sobriety, I broke down and played for 17-hours straight. That night I laid awake in bed. Instead of being ashamed of my relapse, I was ashamed that my character didn't level up as much as it should have in those 17 hours.-Sarah

I was stuck on the last fight in the new Mortal Kombat. As you may know, Shao Khan is cheap and overpowered. I couldn't beat him. I even turned the difficulty down to beginner, still couldn't do it. After 20 tries I got pissed off. I drove to the comic book store, bought a Shao Khan action figure, doused it in kerosene and lit in on fire. I felt much better afterwards.-Luke

Yahoo recently had a story called, "Scrabble adds controversial new words." I was upset because I figured they added racial slurs and curses. Turns out, they were slang words like "thang" and "grrl." The racial slurs and curse words probably wouldn't have upset me quite as much as that did.-Anonymous

I have made my own championship wrestling belts, twice. Both times were after I was married, The last time was while my wife was pregnant.-Anonymous

Last week, a couple friends and I got into a small car accident. Nobody was seriously hurt, but I suffered a minor concussion. I couldn't remember who the Prime Minster was, my own phone number or even the names of some of my friends for a few hours. Somehow, however, I was still able to remember the names of all of the Spartans in Nobel Team.-Joseph

My first tattoo was the skeleton from the cover of Mutant League Hockey.-Brett

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