Terrans Are Inefficient

Okay, Zerglings and Mutalisks coming. With me, Siege tanks, and Missile Turrets? This should be pretty easy.

Okay, I’ll handle the Zerglings.

And I’ll handle the Mutalisks!

Cool! And I’ll…I’ll shoot at both.

Great. Good deal.

Wait. Can’t you guys also shoot at both?

We can’t.

Sorry.

Really? Cause…Cause I can. And I’m just a guy with a little gun. And you’re super-ranged mechanical…expensive things really. You should really try to do both.

Look, I don’t know what to tell you…

You can hit a Zergling from a mile a way but you can’t, I don’t know, can’t fire at a pack of Mutalisks?

Well…

Just angle up. Come on.

Why don’t you pick on hellions?

Come on dude. No one likes hellions.

…

They’re like vultures, except not fun. And Missile Turrets, you shoot missiles. You can shoot them at the ground.

No I can’t.

Yes, you can. Listen, I’m doing everything around here! I shoot air, I shoot ground, oh and half the time you don’t even bother to get me a combat-shield.

It’s money better spent on-

Don’t even start me you non-lock-down-having bastard. And the reactor pumps us out two at a time which is awkward and oh yeah, awesome, thanks for the stim pack. It takes away a quarter of my life just to make me a murderous maniac for a short burst of time; come on, it’s the 4 Loko of upgrades. So I think you can launch missiles at the ground, Missile Turret, okay!?

I can’t.

Oh yeah? Really?

We spent all the extra tech time to give me speech capabilities instead.

…

Kill me now.