Issue #1

By Brian Murphy / April 25, 2011

Have a nerdy horror story you want to share with the Internet? Send your submissions to areyouafraidofthedork@gmail.com!

I had been playing Starfox 64 all day and finally got to Venom using only the red (difficult) path. After defeating Starwolf, I began circling the vent that would take me to the battle with Andross. I circled once, twice, three times, but instead of entering the vent I just continued to circle. My game had glitched right before the final boss. I was doomed to circle the surface of Venom FOR ETERNITY.-Caldwell Tanner

I was making my way through the final Castle in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time and died while battling in the Fire Barrier. Through either (a) a brilliantly wicked trick of the Evil conqueror of Hyrule or (b) some kind of bug undetected by the worthless troglodytes at Nintendo, I was brought back to life without my hover boots — the only item protecting me from the intense heat of the fire chamber's lava floor. Thus was Link stuck in an endless loop of re-spawning and instantly burning to death.-Patrick Cassels

I preordered the original Rock Band at a national chain of game retailer who will remain nameless. I never preorder games, but there was a lot of hype. I knew exactly which songs I wanted to play first (Foreplay/Long Time, Reptilia…) and left work early to pick up that enormous box. When I got there, the employees informed me that I had placed a preorder for just the game itself, not the package of the game and the instruments you actually need to play. They then explained that I couldn't get the package because they were all set aside for preorders, and I didn't get to play Rock Band for an entire weekend.-Jeff Rubin

The original Everquest was addictive but incredibly frustrating. Before the "Plane of Knowledge" allowed you to easily travel all over the world, players had to take long boat rides across the ocean to get to other continents. Once the boat left the port and got to the ocean zone there was a brief load screen. One time, the game glitched as I was "zoning" and I appeared on the other side WITHOUT THE BOAT. I drowned. Hard. -Anonymous

I brought my entire collection of PS2 games to college, including my drug of choice at the time, Burnout 3: Takedown. I had made considerable progress unlocking cars and tracks until an Albanian kid on my floor, whom I allowed into my room in an ill-advised attempt to be social, erased over my save file with his own. Furious, I spent the next week playing nothing but Burnout, regaining the progress I had lost. Finally satisfied that I had restored what was taken from me, I went to class on Monday and came back to find the same kid sitting in my room playing Burnout. He had accidentally erased my save file again.-Owen Parsons

The game was Final Fantasy VII. I was on a mission to get all characters to level 99 by fighting monsters in the Northern Crater. After about 8 hours of leveling, I was attacked from behind by 2 "Magic Pot" enemies that were invulnerable unless you used an elixir on them. Before I could do anything, they used "Steal" to take Cid's ultimate weapon. The only way to get it back was to defeat them….but I was all out of elixirs. In a decision I regret to this day, I saved the game so that I wouldn't lose 8 hours of experience. Cid never hit for max damage again.-Brian Murphy

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