Pwn My Life: Issue #71

By Kevin Corrigan / April 15, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

Last year I was a manager at a pool. I discovered that one of my friends/employees had never played a Zelda game nor seen a single Star Wars movie. I let him borrow the original trilogy and my copy of Ocarina of Time. Then I refused to give him any hours until he'd finished A New Hope and gotten past the Jabu-Jabu's belly level.-GM

Before Guitar Hero World Tour came out, I was in awe of the new drum controller. I was so excited. A month before it came out, I started using my high school's drum set and practice room so I'd be ready. At the end of the month, the band director complimented me on how good I'd become and asked me to play in a show. Apparently I'd become one of the best percussionists at school.-Chris

I realized Santa Claus doesn't exist when I noticed that my parents didn't want me to play videogames and Santa wouldn't bring me any I asked for.-Tut

My wife and I named all three of our children after Lost characters: Jack, Benjamin Sawyer, and (Ben's alias) Henry. I thought our fanaticism was bad, but recently we found ourselves topped. We just moved, and our new neighbor's three-year-old son's name is Sephiroth Anakin. They call him "Sephie." Seriously.-Ryan

in 9th grade, my friends and I were obsessed with the Pokemon theme. We sang it every day. One day in biology, my friend passed me a note that said, "I wanna be the very best. Of course I wrote "that no one ever was," and passed it to another friend. That kid wasn't quite sneaky enough. Our teacher, Ms. Horsch, caught her. She interrupted the class, grabbed the noted and read it to herself. She gave us a the weirdest look and put the note on her desk. After class, she gave the note back without so much as a word.-Anonymous

When I was in elementary school, my friends and I used to have underground Beyblade battles at recess. We'd go to a trash can, turn the lid over and let it rip. Our underground ring came to an abrupt end one day when Leland Cecil, the kid no one liked, came around and got his glasses knocked off by a rogue top. We were never able to Beyblade at school again, and I have never forgiven Leland Cecil.-Brian

During my freshman year of high school, some friends and I had a heated debate at lunch over what RPG was the best. When I said that Earthbound was the best, everyone laughed at me and told me to leave. I was so pissed that I flipped their lunch trays onto them and ran to study hall as fast as I could to hide. They eventually caught me and kicked me in the groin (multiple times). To this day, none of us talk about RPGs.-Mikey

This week's "You Hold Onto Her And Never Let Go" award goes to:I was away from my girlfriend, overseas doing fieldwork for several months. When I flew back she met me at the airport and I proposed. I then immediately got on another plane to attend Star Wars Celebration V. Somehow she still wants to marry me. She recently even presented me with custom Han and Leia wedding cake toppers. I knew she was the one when she saw with me for every session of my Star Wars tattoo sleeves.-Anonymous

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