Pwn My Life: Issue #68

March 25, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I use the "incognito" feature on Google Chrome for two purposes. One is porn. The other is fanfiction.-Anonymous
TrollandToad.com offered random Pokemon holographic cards for $0.25 each. I went nuts and bought 100 cards. I got them in the mail and man, I was impressed at some of the stuff they gave me. I went back to buy another 100. However, the price was now $0.39 per card. I live chatted with customer support and asked why the price rose. They told me pricing is based on demand. Previously, the item had not had a lot of demand. That's why it was so cheap. Now that it was in demand, it wasn't "on sale" anymore. Then it hit me. My single order was what drove prices up.-Anonymous
Today I overheard a very cute girl in my property class say she liked Superman better than Batman because Batman doesn't have powers. This infuriated me. I went over to her and explained that Batman has guile and is the world's greatest detective. I then started to inform her about why those attributes allowed Batman to kick the crap out of Superman. I stopped mid sentence because I realized how little she cared.-Anonymous


A few years back I sold my Xbox 360 because I wasn't getting out enough. I decided to use the money to buy a musical instrument. Now I'm a pretty good accordion player.-Anonymous
Today I went to a guys apartment to look at subletting his place. When I walked in, his roommate was playing Pokemon Emerald. When I asked him why he wasn't playing the new Pokemon White or Black, he said that he had yet to complete his emerald pokedex. He had to finish it before he would even think of playing the new ones. Needless to say, I have a place to live this summer.-Mark
After I watch anime on Netflix on my Xbox, I have to watch the beginning of other movies so that my "recently watched" list doesn't show it, and my girlfriend doesn't see it.-Pancho
I was stuck for days on a difficult quest in Tactics Ogre. I couldn't for the life of me get past it. I clearly needed to level up a lot for that stretch of the game. Then I went to spend the night at this girls house, drank too much and blacked out. When I woke up the next day I discovered that we did not get intimate, but I had beat the level and proceeded to finish most of the game.-Roost
And the "Maybe You Should Go Outside Once in a While and Play Pokemon" Award goes to:I have logged:-609 hours and 23 minutes on Pokemon Platinum-371 hours and 17 minutes on Pokemon Emerald-200 hours (about) on Pokemon Heartgold-72 hours and 10 minutes on Pokemon White, which I got on the 9th. And it will probably be up about 20-30 hours by the time this is postedThat's about 1252 hours total. I've spent 52 days of my life playing Pokemon. That doesn't even include other games. Or my previous save files for each Pokemon game.-M. Johnson

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