Halo Firefight: A Hero's Death

March 7, 2011
  1. General

    Uh, Mrs. Gunki77er?

  2. Mother

    Yes, general?

  3. General

    There's no easy way to say this. Your son died in a Halo firefight last night-

  4. Mother

    What?

  5. General

    Ten times, ending his game.

  6. Mother

    That…that is a lot of times.

  7. General

    Twelve times, actually. He got extras, too. Your son is not very good.

  8. Mother

    Did anyone in his unit survive-

  9. General

    No, he was just by himself.

  10. Mother

    You sent him out alone? He didn't even have a partner?

  11. General

    To be fair, your son didn't have many friends.

  12. Mother

    How could this happen? He wasn't even a fighter- he was a medic!

  13. General

    Yeah, he switched to Air Assault the second he saw jetpacks.

  14. Mother

    Oh.

  15. General

    Also, medic is one of our fighting classes for firefight, for some reason.

  16. Mother

    Why would you do that?

  17. The general shrugs.

  18. Mother

    Well, at least my son…died a hero, slaying scores of aliens. He'll be a legend, monuments will be made for-

  19. General

    No, no, it was on normal. Your son is just normal.

  20. Mother

    So this is a normal thing?

  21. General

    More or less. Except people usually do better. But now isn't the time for that. I brought you his medals.

  22. Mother

    Killing spree…killing frenzy…killionaire? Couldn't you have, um, less awful names for the medals.

  23. General

    Woah, I know losing a son is a killtrocity-

  24. Mother

    Atrocity.

  25. General

    That's what I said. But now is no time to insult the system. When your son respawns-

  26. Mother

    He does what?

  27. General

    In forty seconds. I'm sending him out on an easy mission. Get him trained, he'll be able to handle normal sometime late Killuary or Killarch.

  28. Mother

    Do you just add 'kill' to words? That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard of.

  29. General

    Go killuck yourself.

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