Overheard on Xbox: Issue #39

March 1, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I had just joined a game of Black Ops on X-box and the first thing I hear is this little kid saying, "No Calvin you can't come inside, you just rolled around in sh*t!" To this day I don't know if he was talking to his younger brother or dog, but this conversation went on for the rest of the match. Me and my friends could not stop laughing.-Mark
I typically choose not to talk much on COD BlackOps unless I'm playing with people from my friend's list.  I was rolling hardcore CTF solo one day and was teamed up with a party of 5.  I'm guessing they were around 18-21 years old.  They were good teammates and were calling out the opposition for the first half of the match.  As we were switching sides a guy on my team started acting like a radio DJ.  He was actually making some fairly funny comments and everyone on my team stopped talking and was just listening to him.  He went on for a few more minutes when I took my TurtleBeach's off mute and said "I would like to make a request.  Can you play TLC, No Scrubs." He paused for about 10 seconds and then says (in a perfect Radio DJ voice) "We just got a request in so going out to GaveURmomCrabs (my gamertag) we have No Scrubs by TLC" then he played the song over his headset and everyone on my team just sat there listening to the entire song for the rest of the match.  I don't know if I was more impressed with his ability to keep his composure or his ability to play "No Scrubs" within 10 seconds of me making the request. -GaveURmomCrabs
Once I was playing Halo Reach and breaking this guy for being terrible. I made a 'your mom' joke and he says "Well, my parents are dead. How does that make you feel?" Like 5 seconds later all you hear is "MIKEY! YOUR SANDWICH IS READY!" then you hear "MIKEY, YOUR 22 AND HAVE NO JOB. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET A GIRLFRIEND AND MOVE OUT OF MY HOUSE?" -Wynntai


I found the perfect thing to say to people who start giving me shit on X-box live. Whenever someone starts pissing me off I respond to them by saying "listen can you please stop talking to me while I'm trying to jack off? It's super distracting and to be honest kind of weird of you." Everyone either awkwardly stops talking or laughs because of the awesome sentences I formed. (Also I want to make it clear that I don't actually jack off while playing xbox).-Dantastic
While I was playing Gears of War 2 the other day, after this kid that sounded no more than 7 years old got killed, he said: "I swear to fucking Jesus Christ if I get killed one more time, I'm going to ejaculate into my disc-drive".-Rene V.
Me and my wife's brother were playing Halo 3. We always act like we are stupid. So at the beginning of the team slayer match we kept acting like we were playing capture the flag. Always asking, "where is the flag, do you know where the flag is?" Every now and then we would stick someone and yell "I have the flag!" and dart in the other direction. We had our team believing we thought we were playing capture the flag. Eventually it got to the middle of the game and everyone but us left the game. The three of them had a total of 2 kills. The rest of the match we both owned the other team. We beat them and both had more then 20 kills. At the end of the game in the lobby the other team was saying good job being nice, and we asked the other team "so… where was the flag we couldn't find it?" It was quiet for a few seconds and one guy just yells "WHAT THE FUCK WE WERE NOT PLAYING CAPTURE THE FLAG. WE GOT ASSFUCKED BY TWO ASSHOLES WHO DID NOT EVEN KNOW WE WERE PLAYING TEAM MOTHER FUCKING SLAYER. GOD DAMN YOU GUYS SUCK!"-Nick K.

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