Overheard on Xbox: Issue #36

February 1, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

So the other night I was playing COD black ops with my friends split screen online, my girlfriend was with us and was bored as hell so I gave her my mic and told her to talk trash to people. She started to make fun of people and all of the sudden she started laughing hysterically. I asked her what happened and she said that all of the kids were just like "OH MY GOD ARE YOU A GIRL????" then started screaming out their phone numbers.-Danny B.
While recently playing Team Fortress 2, some of the players got into a conversation about the new option to rename weapons and what names to use, some were genuinely funny, some where pop culture references, etc. Soon though one of the younger players stated he wanted a suggestion to for a weapon by asking "My flame thrower is good at blowing people, what should I call it?" which was immediately replied with "name it after your sister."-Michael B.


Last night I was playing Black Ops and some guy with a thick Russian accent comes on and says "Hello good American buddies. Are you ready for me to make rape-sex to your face holes?" Then he went on to say how he's a famous Russian body builder, inventor, cosmonaut, TV chef, politician, athlete, and author and he stated his personal achievements in each of those categories. Most notably was the invention of Comrade Crunch. A Russian breakfast cereal similar to Captain Crunch except that you use vodka instead of milk.-G.
I was playing Black Ops one night, the score was an even 7000-7000 on Team Deathmatch. I forgot that earlier in the game I had gotten a blackbird and decided to use it. I began to improvise a parody of The Beatles:"Black Bird bombing in the dead of night… take these enemies and make them die… ooo… all your liiife….you were only waiting for your care package to arriive." It got all 5 kills we needed to win. -Chris P.
So I'm playing Black Ops and waiting in the lobby for the next game to start. Some guy then asks "Hey, is it still considered cheating to do it in the butt?" Another player responds with a long "duh" followed by everyone else laughing. After a long pause I hear from the 1st guy "I knew it you lying bitch! That's still cheating! You cheating bitch! It's over!" We hear him and some girl arguing until he leaves the lobby. It's quiet till one guy goes "….awkward….." making everyone laugh.-Anonymous
I study Arabic in college.  To pass the time and make reading the nonsense stories in the textbook more fun I use the headset while my brother plays CoD Black Ops online.  All I'm really saying is mundane things like "The weather in New York City is very cold in the winter".  But I found out that when you yell "AL-TAQS FII MEDINAT NEW YORK BARD JIDAN FII AL-SHITA'A!!!!" at the top of your lungs, you scare the hell out of nerds around the world.  My brother's account name is now shunned in the xbox live world, and I have a 3.6 GPA. Thanks Microsoft.-V.

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